Feedback notes from Mrs Allison
Documentary opening Conor O’Sullivan and Andrew Lloyd-Jones
• Subtitles on telephone conversation should be lower case
• Transcript isn’t quite the same as speech
• Main title font and layout could be improved - not appropriate for target audience?
• Conor’s voice over is good but worth a try with an older sounding voice to get more authority
• Soften the start of the mum’s speech – to harsh
• Mic noise on mum’s speech
• Transitions between sections work very well
• Pace is great
• Very good use of different locations and filming styles
• Poster not obvious enough – close-up then zoom out ?
• Rather than screwed up what about blowing in the wind for final shot – more movement
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